Wednesday, February 11, 2015

When I said, "I LOVE YOU, you crazy man." ~ #SoundOfLove

Love is that warm, soaring and giddy feeling at often strikes us at the most unexpected times. Like it did me. I had never thought that I would ever fall in love. Slightly conscious of all my beauty drawbacks as compared to all the other more beautiful girls around me, I was convinced that I would never go down the love marriage path. But fate had other plans for me.

I and he had been just friends. I never thought of him as anything other than a friend and was convinced that he didn't either. We were study buddies, confidantes and always bickering. 

College was almost at an end and we both had our lives set. 
Falling in love was not part of our plan when one day, he came up to me and being his usual perky self, said,
"Tell me, could you ever fall in love with me?"

I was astonished at this sudden and very unexpected question and without any thought replied,
"No."

At my brusque answer, his face fell and although he tried to smile, I could see that I had hurt him.
Trying to soften my previous answer, I said, "Hey, you are not serious. Are you? You know you don't love me. So, chill yarr and let's have tea."

I patted his hand while giving him a sunny smile but he remained serious. He didn't say anything, just gestured for me to move ahead. That day, we had a quiet tea. He didn't say anything and I didn't know what to say to make him better. I could not understand why he would say such a thing. He didn't love me. He couldn't love me!

Time passed and while I thought about this meeting a lot, he was again his happy and confident self. Soon the uncomfortable encounter was forgotten and we went back to being "just" friends. 

But somewhere I had changed. I was looking at him in a new light. I was starting to imagine my life without his chirpy "good morning" wishes, his happy-go-lucky way of living life, his sudden happiness at recognizing me even in a crowd which had always made me feel special and definitely his companionship which had helped me survive the loneliness of being away from home and tackle all the challenges that were thrown towards me.

The tables, however, had been turned. While I was re-evaluating my feelings for him, he was no longer asking me if I loved him leaving me drowning in the realization that I did!

Months passed and nothing was said from either side. Sometimes, I would catch him watching me with a sad expression but he never broached that topic again.

The last day of college soon arrived and while I was bawling my eyes out, he patted my head like I was a small kid and told me, 
"Dont cry. Why are you crying? It's not like this is the end of the world. You will make new friends and soon I will be a distant memory. You will forget about me in a few days."

This made me so angry that it felt like I was burning. I wanted to hit him and beat some sense into him. Glaring at him, I shouted, "Oh yeah! How do you know what I will do? Are you a psychic?"

I was shaking with suppressed rage by now. How dare he tell me how I felt and what I will do?

He was silent for a few minutes and then softly whispered, "But you told me that I didn't love you. You knew what I felt." 

I was left speechless. My anger drained just as quickly as it had spiked. I had told him something that only he could know. Who was I to tell him how he felt?

"I am sorry. Please forgive me." I told him, feeling ashamed and downcast.

"I cant. It is too late." He told me and started walking away. 

I was stunned and for the first time in my life it felt like someone had ripped my heart out. The love of my life was walking away and "it was too late".

I don't remember for how long I stood there, in the middle of the road. I felt weightless and eventually like a zombie went back to my hostel. 

"I had lost him." was the only thing that kept swimming in my mind.

The next day when the bus came to take us to the train station, I boarded it knowing that I would never get a chance to express my love again but as soon as I stepped inside, I was shocked to hear his voice and then his smiling face. I stood rooted and incredulous that he was really there.

He sang "Chaahe tum kuchh na kaho maine sun liya
Ki saathi pyaar ka mujhe chun liya
Chun liya

Maine Sun liya...
Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumar. Naya Pyar hai..." as he came towards me while I stood like a gaping fish with my mouth hanging open.

"Say something. Please say something. I LOVE YOU."
His soft brown eyes beseeched me. It was like a dream and I said so.

"This is a dream. You are not real. You left."

"I am real, baby. Just say that you love me. If you say no again then I will just have to try again. I can never leave you. I LOVE YOU." 

He smiled as he told me this making me suddenly so happy. It felt like I was a junkie who had suddenly received his drug. I felt high, I felt like everything was possible and I felt myself fall all the way in love with this boy with wavy black hair and soft eyes.

"I LOVE YOU too but never pull a stunt like this. I never want to feel this kind of devastation again. I felt like I had died." 

"Good. Now you know how I felt after your rejection." He told me with a mischievous wink.

I playfully punched him and said, "You are crazy and hadn't I loved you. I would have dumped you right here for this."

"But you love me." He told me in his usual confident way.

"That I do. I LOVE YOU, you crazy man."

I smiled and even before I could complete the statement I was in his arms and amidst all the clapping from our friends, I just knew that God had given me a fairy tale too with my own Prince charming.

"Crazy in love with you, sweetheart." He murmured in my ear, making me feel special and cherished.

Life was going to be exciting and I was happy that I had him to share it with me. :)

Image courtesy: http://picsmobi.net/
Now after four years of marriage, I am glad that he pulled that stunt of pretending to leave me. His stunt had me realizing my love for him and marked a start to a relationship that has made my life more adventurous, enriching and so happy.

What is your story of love?

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